CHAPTER 16

Outside, a misty rain fell. I raised my collar against the wind. It was after midnight and the streets of Montparnasse were almost deserted. I could hear my own footsteps as I made my way home.

I had met many unusual and important people in Paris, but that night I had a very satisfying feeling of self worth. I realized that by the simple act of hanging my tiny painting, Gertrude had opened doors. I would always be grateful to her. I felt at that moment that my life was about to change. I had no idea, just yet, how those changes would affect me. It was almost winter. Gertrude was about to leave for parts south. It would be some time before I would see her again.

On the rue de Rennes, a street fair was in full swing. The air was still heavy with the smells of waffles, acetylene and firecrackers that mixed with the distinct scent of Parisian fried potatoes. Paris danced under an umbrella of wispy cotton candy clouds and impossible dreams that could come true.

Thoughts Turning to Diego and Marevna

As I walked along, my mind turned to Diego and Marevna.
Diego Rivera was a man with the weakness of a child. He had a knack for making bad decisions especially when it came to things that involved the women in his life. He also suffered from the inability to make decisions, especially about things that truly mattered.

As for his ability to paint, he was an accomplished craftsman
who would, in his later years enjoy success, wealth and position as one of Mexico's best loved sons even though it took him a lifetime to arrive at a personal style. He and Marevna had been lovers for sometime, even though, when they first met, he had been living with another woman. Their small son had died of influenza and now the brooding giant sought out Marevna for comfort and solace. It was far from a happy relationship.

She was impulsive, lively, shy, moody and sometimes audacious. She was a good comrade, obliging, proud and plain-spoken. While she relied on Diego, he leaned on her for support. He used her when it suited him. He had the knack of being charming too. Then he would stare at you like a brooding Rhino or a bear on its hind legs and was well respected even though his friends chided him She was often ready to throw that relationship over.

A Free Spirit Who Needed a Man of Strength...

She was a free spirit who needed a man of strength, but not someone who oppressed her. Her weakness stemmed from her need for love. She couldn't see far ahead to anything permanent. That was beyond her. In that way she thought of herself as a vagabond, without permanence.

There had been many other men before him including an interlude with the artist Ossip Zadkin whom she had met at La Ruche, the beehive-like artist colony on the Passage Dantzig and Chaim Soutine, the youngest son of a poor Jewish tailor. While he was not without talent as an artist, he was difficult to befriend.

He was a heavy load; nervous, secretive, sensitive, timid, sometimes reticent or malicious, conceited and generally unmanageable. One could get just so close and be pushed back. Life to him was 'God's design'. "God chastens man", he often said. He felt he was personally singled out and punished by God. His punishment came in the form of poverty.

A Man with Chauvinistic Attitudes

The relationship between Diego and Marevna was one of the domineering guardian and the novice follower. He tried to manipulate Marevna's career and like many Mexicans, his attitudes were often chauvinistic. Marevna, for her part, needed Diego's guidance and protection but she was also a free spirit who needed her freedom.
I had come to know Diego fairly well, through Marevna. I was often the one she came to when things went badly.

I saw immediately that Diego's size betrayed his fragile temperament. He was either the brutal bear or the kitten seeking protection and help making decisions. He could turn on Marevna one moment and be gentle without notice. These mood swings weren't easy for him either. When Diego suffered, those closest to him paid for it.

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